A Reminder of Me

I wanted to write briefly about an encounter with nature and spirit that I had over the weekend.  As some may know, I am pursuing Elder Initiation and it is a big step on my spiritual path. It's taken a lot of work and energy to get to the point of following this next step, and I am still working through a lot of emotions surrounding it in order to better manifest my goals.

This last weekend, I committed myself to supporting others in their shamanic work.  The work will span many months, and this work will progress through many of the elements.  This particular weekend we were set to move through the element of fire.  I have to say, I wasn't feeling very fiery.  I was feeling overwhelmed and a bit stressed because of all the prep work I needed to do and couldn't really wrap my head around for Elder Initiation. 

I arrived at the land where the work would be held, and did my check in.  There are many sacred spaces on the land.  I spent time checking in and greeting many of these spaces, from spaces dedicated to ancestors to a space meant to connect to the earth mother.  I was going to finish by checking in with a space dedicated to nature and the spirit of nature, but was instead guided - seemingly by the nature spirit - to take a short walk.  The phrase "Go out back first" rang in my head.

On my walk I greeted several more important spaces. I felt the wind blow, the sun shine on my back, and the grass and sticks underfoot.  My heart was beginning to lighten and release the stress.  I stopped to connect to the earth, and look around.  I heard clearly in my head, "Now, what do you see?"  I smiled to myself, because around me I had seen all things green and growing and full of life - I looked around to find descriptors for this experience, and immediately turned to see a snake moving through the leaves.

It was as if the snake was the true answer to the question that had been presented to me.   "Now, what do you see?"  I saw a serpent. 

I have seen very few "wild" snakes in my life.  While initially unnerved by them, I have found that I enjoy and respect them and I have built a relationship with the spirit of the snake that has been vital to me in my healing work - healing of myself and in my work facilitating work for others.  I consider the snake to be a power animal - it has great meaning to me and has visited me and led me on many shamanic journeys.  It also has taken on the role of my internal predator - symbolizing the part of me that is my inner destroyer, the piece of me that can sabotage my own healing processes - and in knowing that it is my internal predator it has allowed me to work to overcome self-predation and move into a mode of manifesting and creating.

To turn around at that time, with the voice in my head asking "what do you see?"  - it was an amazing experience.  I stood and watched the black and gold garter snake for some time as it wove in and out of the leaves, ducking and diving under.  I watched it for several minutes - it had a very aware and instructive presence, yet an independent feel to it as well - and as it crawled away I turned and returned to the site on the land dedicated to the spirit of nature. 

It was a short experience in time and space.  Spiritually, it was a huge confirmation for me.  In all the work, in all the stress, it is easy sometimes to loose sight of my goals.  But I am my biggest predator, and within me I have the power to manifest and create my destiny.  I am grateful for the spirit of nature and for the spirit of the snake - I have been reminded of my own power and strength.